Left-Handed Engineers From MARZ
Monologue - the Datsun


"I remember when Reg learned to drive. He had been fascinated by cars for at least as long as I'd known him, but I don't think he had ever been behind the wheel of one.

"When we moved in together in the middle of sophomore year in college, life got a lot tougher. The apartment was within walking distance of the campus, but it was quite a hike. And neither of us could afford the meal plan, so grocery runs became a necessity.

"At one point I decided to get over myself and just learn to drive. You have to remember that at this time, Reg almost never said a word, and I didn't know a damn thing about him. It took me years to figure him out. So I didn't know what he was capable or incapable of. I went to the local DMV and got myself a driver's manual. And then I sort of chickened out.

"But then Reg picked it up and started reading it. He read that damn thing from beginning to end, like a novel, and then when he was done he went back to the beginning and read it again. Not all in one sitting, mind you. But he brought it to school with him and read it every moment he wasn't required to be doing something else. I don't know how many times he read it, but he read it for three and a half days straight. For a while I wondered whether I'd lost my best friend to a little book with pictures of street signs on the cover.

"But before he could get a driver's license, he had to get a permit. During our subsequent visits to the DMV, I learned quite a bit about covering for him, including one of my favorite excuses: 'There's nothing wrong with him; he's an engineer!' Well, at the time he was just an engineering student, but you get the idea. I found someone I knew at school to give him the 40 hours in her car, and we hit the road. She was very brave to take us up on the offer, but I swear from the minute Reg slid into the front seat, he drove like an old pro.

("Not a Nascar pro, either.)

"Back at the DMV, his failure to speak for himself proved a major obstacle, but he got 100% scores on both tests (and the second field test they made him take because they couldn't believe he had done so well) so they ended up having to issue him a license.

"Then came the fun part... car shopping. It wasn't long before we ran across a gem of a car, a 1973 Datsun 1200 coupe. It had been run nearly into the ground, poor thing, but we scraped together the $600 and took our new baby home. And then we got to work. We couldn't afford to spend much on parts, but I managed to use my scrounging skills to get us most of what we needed. My year at Buck's Auto Shop really paid off, although we didn't service many foreign cars there; I pretty much learned as we went. And I don't know how much Reg knew before we met or whether he learned from watching me, but his repair work was impeccable. I'd say it was our first major bonding experience. We had a lot of fun patching, too.

"And when we were done, we had a beautiful little red Datsun at our disposal. It was our pride and joy. In 1994, which would have been three years later, we sold it for $5000, but I still have pictures. Want to see?"

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