He dropped his book bag just inside the door. Keith sat at the computer, typing madly. "Lauralynn called," Keith said over his shoulder. "Five times."

Connor grumbled and wandered into the kitchen. He opened the freezer. "Burritos, burritos... Keith? Have you seen my burritos?"

Keith appeared in the doorway, his wide eyes behind large, round glasses making him look even more owl-like than usual. "Were they yours?" he inquired in a voice dripping with humbleness. "I'm really sorry. I ate them. Sorry, Connor."

Connor gawked at his wiry roommate in disbelief. "All of them? There were four!"

"I had one for breakfast and then Suzanne and I ate the rest for supper. There wasn't much else to eat, but I should have thought. I could run to the corner store and get you more." Keith disappeared from view.

"Nah, it's okay," Connor said. "Keith? Keith! It's okay! Never mind! I'll just have... something." He opened the freezer again, and then checked the fridge and the pantry, but his roommate had been right - there really wasn't much else to eat. He settled for the remainder of a head of lettuce, until he discovered that most of it was lined in brown, and finally put a pot of water on for spaghetti. Then he returned to the living room to call Lauralynn.

Keith was nowhere to be seen, and his computer file had been left half-finished on the screen. "Aw, geez, I told him not to bother," Connor said to himself as he stretched out on the couch with the cordless phone. It rang, and rang, and rang, and eventually someone picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hi, honey, it's me," Connor said.

"Oh." Lauralynn sighed heavily. "Where were you all day? I tried to call you."

"I was at work. They gave me a permanent job, remember?"

"Oh. Well, I'm glad you're home now. I really need you. Come over."

"I can't," Connor said. "I have two classes tonight."

"Tonight?! But Connor, I need you! I can't stand to be alone tonight. Please come over, please! Skip your classes."

"I can't skip the first day of class! I'm sorry, hun, I wish with all my heart that I could be with you. But I just can't."

Lauralynn was quiet for a moment. "That's... that's fine," she said. "Nobody else has time for me either. I guess I get old after a while. People think I'm interesting for a week or two, but then they get to know me and change their minds. And not even that lately. Lately all my old friends have been leaving, one by one, they stop caring about me and there aren't any new friends to take their place. It's not your fault, Connor... it's me. Something about me."

"Laur, Laur, sweetie, no! I do care about you. Come on, we've been through a lot together. This semester's gonna be rough, but we'll get through it!" Connor insisted. "We just have to hang in there."

"I wish you hadn't taken the job," she said. "You could've waited a couple more years... until you graduated."

Connor had a hard time thinking of a response. The job at MARZ was the best thing he could have conceived of - a miracle handed to him out of the blue. Why couldn't Lauralynn see what a valuable opportunity it was?

"It'll all work out," he told her. "I'll have to work hard for a while and I'm making some sacrifices, but they're small sacrifices compared to--"

"Small sacrifices?! Is that what I am? I'm waiting here by myself, wondering what I even have to live for, while you fill every minute of your day with school and work and shit... when will we ever have time to see each other? Am I supposed to just sit here and hope that you still think about me every now and then? Is that all I am to you, some girlfriend sitting around somewhere waiting for you to get around to seeing me? What about my needs? Who do I turn to if you're always busy?"

"Well, can't your friends--"

"Oh, right, I'll just go crying to my friends while you're off doing all your important stuff! Don't you understand, Connor, that my friends aren't enough! They could care less about me! And if you stop caring too... I don't know what... what's the point of even trying?"

"Laur..."

"Connor, I'm out of hope. Completely, utterly out of hope. I look at the future and I don't see anything there for me. It feels like I'm treading water, and I'm getting tired. And now I can't even depend on you to help me keep going. One of these days I'm going to give up entirely and slip under and I don't know if I'll be strong enough to pull myself out of it without you."

"Laur..." Connor thought of his pot of water and heaved himself off the couch to go check on it. The couch objected by emitting a painful squeak and nudging the seat cushion halfway over the edge. "Laur, honey, don't think like that. Hang in there and everything will be fine. You'll see. I'll play my cards right at MARZ and pretty soon--"

"Don't... god, Connor, don't just dismiss my feelings like that! You're always doing that, and it only makes me feel worse!"

"I'm sorry," Connor said as he dumped the remainder of a box of spaghetti into the pot and mashed it into the madly boiling water with a wooden spoon he found in the drainer. He was grateful that Keith was such a fanatic about washing dishes, and just as grateful that he never put the dishes away.

Lauralynn sighed. "Listen, I have to go. Just try to make some time for me this week, okay? I'm not... I don't think I'm asking a lot."

"I promise, baby. I can come by on Thursday; I only have one class that night. I can cut out of work a little early and meet you for dinner."

"Don't kill yourself over me," Lauralynn replied edgily. "I'll see you. Bye."

"Love you!" Connor said quickly.

"Yeah, love you too." Lauralynn hung up.

Connor stirred the spaghetti a few more times and left it to go set up the Xbox. He was really in the mood to blast some monsters about now. It was certainly more productive than hurling the pot of boiling water with his supper in it against the wall. Why him? Hadn't he done everything reasonably well so far? He couldn't give Lauralynn a whole lot, but wasn't he there for her every moment he could spare? And wasn't his career important enough to pursue? What kind of future did she expect them to have if he didn't lay out the groundwork while still in college?

He had a sinking feeling that they weren't going to have much of a future at all, no matter what he did. He gave her everything he had, but he couldn't give her happiness. He cared too much about her to want to break up with her... maybe she'd lighten up and they'd be able to work things out. Everything between them would be fine if only she'd be patient and understanding. And supportive. He didn't exactly have it easy, either, with a nearly full-time job and a full course load of night classes. Why couldn't she bend a little for him for a change?

Small sacrifices, Connor thought.

****

"G'morning!" Connor exclaimed brightly as he bounced into Zephyr's office.

Zephyr turned slowly away from his coffee and regarded Connor. "Yah," he said.

Connor, reminded that Zephyr was not one to appreciate sunny starts to his days, calmed himself down and squeezed into the chair next to Zephyr's desk. "What are we doing today?" he asked calmly.

"We are... uh..." Zephyr slid a sheet of paper across the desk at him. "It's all here. Read at your leisure."

Connor knew that meant immediately, so he read the schedule immediately. Two field appointments and a meeting. "Hey, do you think we'll be able to squeeze in a quick AutoCAD lesson?" he inquired. "I tested into CADD 2 this semester, and last night I realized I'm missing a few things from CADD 1."

"Like what?"

"Like some of the toolbar functions. Filleting and that kind of stuff."

Zephyr gave him a half-hearted grin. "Oh yeah, piece of cake. We can do it after, um, 3-ish. Sound good?"

"Sure. My class tonight starts at 5, so I hope it's all right if I leave right after."

Zephyr nodded. "Grueling schedule, huh? Anything I can do?"

"Not really, Connor replied. "Well, aside from the CADD thing. My main problem right now is finding time for my girlfriend. Last night she was all upset that I couldn't come over to her place. She was saying all this... stuff."

"Stuff," Zephyr repeated to himself, not quite as a question.

"Yeah. Like she was hinting around some almost-threat. She didn't come out and say anything really awful, but she was dropping hints. I didn't know what to say to her. I practically bend over backwards for her when I can... and she's right, I really don't have any time for her."

Zephyr eyed him. "She was threatening you? How big is this girl?"

Connor laughed nervously. "No, she wasn't going to hurt me, except indirectly, I guess. But she didn't come out and say she was going to hurt herself, either. I don't want to blow things out of proportion, but I don't want to let her do anything... you know. What can I do? What am I supposed to say to help her stay, y'know, together?"

Zephyr made a choking sound. "You're asking me?" he said as he sipped his oversized mug of coffee. "What the hell would I know about relationships? I'm the last person on earth you'd want to ask for love advice."

"Except maybe Reg," Connor offered with a smile.

"No, you'd probably get a better answer out of him. My entire college dating experience consisted of me avoiding relationships like the plague. Not that it was particularly difficult or anything. My gut instinct would be to tell you to dump her. College romances are a dime a dozen. You're still young enough to have the freedom to play the field; have a little fun and then move on. Don't even start getting seriously involved for a few more years. You have plenty of time for that better or worse crap. Go find someone fun."

Connor didn't think he could do that. Weren't relationships supposed to be about commitment and dedication? They weren't like candy wrappers, tossed aside the minute the good part was over. People all had problems and issues, and a good relationship was one that weathered those problems. He and Lauralynn couldn't expect everything to be all peaches and roses, and just because they'd hit a rough spot, that was no reason to give up. Was it?"

"I can't," he finally said. "I care about Lauralynn. I can't just give up on her."

Zephyr shrugged. "Whatever," he said. "But I'm telling you, in ten years you're going to see how big the world is, and how important it is to enjoy your youth while you're young."

"What about you and Reg? How old were you when you guys started getting serious?"

Zephyr grumbled and tapped his fingers on the desk and stared at his computer monitor. "That's... that's different."

"How?"

"In many ways." He turned toward Connor but still failed to make eye contact. "I can't even begin to list the ways. And so I won't bother. Now, I need you to go bother Marsh for a car. No, make it a van. We have to bring Mrs. Jackman's wheelchair with us."

Connor got up and hurried out of Zephyr's office. He was a little sore over the hostile treatment he'd gotten, on top of the troubles Lauralynn had dumped on him... but he was even more intrigued. Zephyr was notoriously closed-mouthed about his relationship with Reg. And the more evasive he was, the more curious Connor got. He had no intention of prying; he suspected that Zephyr would react very badly to having his boundaries crossed, and it really wasn't Connor's business anyway. Whatever he caught through discreet observation would have to suffice.

He felt a twinge of guilt. But what could it hurt just to know? And maybe he could learn something that he'd be able to apply to his own situation. Whatever dark secrets Zephyr and Reg hid, they certainly did a better job of getting along than he and Lauralynn ever had.