Zephyr seemed displeased. "I'm glad you're really getting into that, but conversation night isn't supposed to be for testing things. It's supposed to be for us," he said.

Reg chose a few words. "I want to try."

"Okay," Zephyr said, but he still seemed displeased. He said, "So, how was your day? What thoughts did you think today?"

Reg chose more words. "Marsh is hurt personal angry."

"Yeah, I know. Over that divorce, you mean? He's in the middle of a very bad divorce. I feel bad for him," Zephyr said.

"I feel bad," Reg chose.

Zephyr's heartbeat quickened, but not in a bad way. He said, "You do, really? Does he talk about it when you guys are working?"

"Yes often everyday," Reg made the board say.

"Oh. Ooh. What does he say?"

Reg thought for a moment. He wasn't sure how to continue. So he asked the Other Voice, and the Other Voice fed him words for him to choose. "Woman is snobby selfish unscrupulous liar greedy." Reg liked that last one: greedy. It seemed to capture Marsh's sentiments particularly well.

Zephyr said, "Wow, Marsh says all that about Nancy?"

"Marsh try nice but angry very," Reg made the speech board say. The Other Voice had suggested choosing 'very', but it occurred to him after he touched the black square that the word was out of proper order. He supposed that he could try to put it in a better place next time he used it.

Zephyr said, "I noticed that too. He's very, um, tactful. It's like he walks around with this big permanent mask on that covers up all of his reactions. To tell the truth, it creeps me out sometimes. I have to guess what he's thinking, and I have no idea if I'm guessing right. And you know me, I have that awful habit of thinking the worst. But I could be right... did you ever look at Marsh while he's being polite and tolerant and just know that it's all an act? That inside, he thinks you're a kook or a bastard or something and is only being nice to you so you'll go away? I get that feeling all the time. Man, sometimes he makes me want to crawl under my desk and never come out. Sometimes I wish he'd just come out and say how much he loathes me... I could deal with that better."

The Other Voice suggested a word, so Reg chose it. "Paranoid."

"Who? Me? Marsh?" Zephyr's heartbeat increased and this time it became uneven and wasn't good. Reg put his right hand on Zephyr's shoulder in an attempt to help him regain an even rhythm.

Zephyr said, "Does... does Marsh talk about me when you're down there? What does he say about me?"

Reg tried to think of something Marsh had said about Zephyr. He thought of several things, but he didn't think they were the things Zephyr wanted to know, because surely Zephyr already knew them. But he thought he should say something, so he chose one of them. "Marsh give Zephyr new project old woman." The phrasing hadn't come out quite as Reg had intended, but he hoped it was close enough.

Zephyr seemed dissatisfied. He said, "Yah, okay, but how does Marsh feel about me?"

Reg chose, "Okay."

"Okay?! What does that mean, okay? Aw, geez, I shouldn't... I'm sorry. I'm not frustrated at you, man. I'm just frustrated," Zephyr said.

Reg rubbed Zephyr's back. Rubbing usually relaxed Zephyr, and Zephyr relaxed this time too. His heartbeat became calmer.

"How do you feel about me?" Zephyr asked.

Reg brought up the list of adjectives, scrolled down toward the end (he especially liked words beginning with S or U) and scanned the list for a word he liked. Zephyr was getting impatient, so he chose one that he hoped would do. "Unstable."

Zephyr's heartbeat quickened again. The usually subtle hesitation and push became exaggerated. Zephyr pulled away from Reg and spoke. "What? That was the first thing you thought... unstable? That's how you think of me? Why didn't you just click on friggin' basket case? It's under B."

Reg thought 'unstable' had been a poor choice. Maybe what he meant was 'unpredictable' or... hmm... 'uneven'. 'Uneven' had a certain aesthetic appeal, with those e's and n's.

"I can't believe it, Reg. You of all people! God damn it. Excuse me for being upset, I guess it's just me being unstable," Zephyr said.

Reg wished that Zephyr hadn't moved away; it was so much harder to follow the conversation when Zephyr wasn't directly beside him. But he thought he understood enough to figure out that Zephyr had misinterpreted his intention. He worked as quickly as he could, but what he was trying to say would take a long time. In the meantime, Zephyr continued to talk and continued to move away.

"I've heard it before," Zephyr said. "I'm annoying, intolerable, infuriating, unreasonable, yada yada. Everyone has a reason to hate me. But, Reg, not you, man! Have you thought that about me for the whole eleven years we've been together? What else, Reg? What else have you not been saying? That I'm a freak? Or, or a child, huh? Why do you even stay? Why do you tolerate me? It is because I feed you... or is it because you can fuck me anytime you feel like it? Zephyr the fucktoy. I bet that's it. God, I'm so naive. I keep telling myself that you love me, that you're capable of love, but what the hell do I know... I'm not even capable of love. All I'm capable of is, goddamn fucking load of..."

Reg heard a brutal crash and the sound of circuitry snapping and sparking. He looked up and noticed that Zephyr had destroyed the television. The whine of stray electricity distracted him.

Zephyr spoke again. "That's what I think of you, you fucking worm. I don't know where I got that stupid idea of love from. Living in a frigging fairy tale world or something. Living on blind faith because I'm too damned stupid to know my ass from my elbow. You have never, not once in eleven years..."

Reg finally completed his thought. As he touched the black square, he hoped his words were coherent. The board said, "Uneven Zephyr heartbeat change when Zephyr gets emotions. When Zephyr is angry exhausted happy sad tired heartbeat is different. Know what Zephyr is feel because listen to Zephyr heart."

Zephyr stopped talking. Reg listened to the words he had chosen and wasn't completely happy with all of them, but he didn't want to start over. Zephyr was already very distant. Reg wanted him to return.

Zephyr spoke. "Yah, so? Oh. Oh... is that what you meant by unstable? Is that what you're trying to say?"

Reg touched, "Yes."

Zephyr said, "Okay, okay, but what about all that love crap? I was... was I right on any of it? That it's all a bunch of crap? Now that you're speaking your mind, just tell me and get it over with. Tell me it was a stupid delusion I was..."

Reg watched Zephyr grow more distant. He wanted Zephyr to come back. He asked the Other Voice, and the Other Voice had a suggestion. Reg touched the menu bar and brought up the R list, but although Marsh and Zephyr were both words, Reginald wasn't. Neither was Reg. The Other Voice suggested substituting 'I'. So Reg did. Then he chose 'love' from the L list and 'Zephyr' from the Z list and then touched the black square. He touched it again for good measure.

Keep touching the square until Zephyr comes back, the Other Voice instructed him. It seemed to be very sure that these words would draw Zephyr back. So Reg did, and in approximately two minutes, Zephyr returned. Zephyr even sat down on the couch next to him again. Reg rubbed Zephyr's back in an attempt to help Zephyr regain an even rhythm.

"I broke the TV," Zephyr said. "Oh my god, I broke the TV!" Zephyr looked at Reg and Reg saw that Zephyr was grinning. Zephyr said, "I can't believe I finally broke something. I don't know if I ever told you this, but I've been wanting to do that for a long time. My whole life. I've always had this weird block; I couldn't ever go through with it. But this time I did. And it felt... gah, I can't even describe how good it felt. It's just too bad it was the TV, instead of my mother's face or something. Something expendable."

****

At 10:27 Reg was getting ready for bed. He liked to start earlier than Zephyr because he could take his time and get everything right. He was removing his socks when Zephyr opened the bedroom door and entered.

Zephyr said, "Hey, um, is it true what you said about my heart? That it sounds different when I get emotional?"

Reg didn't know how to answer that.

Zephyr said, "How do you do it? Do you have super-duper hearing or...?"

Reg didn't know how to answer that either.

"Is my heartbeat abnormally loud?" Zephyr said.

Reg didn't think so.

Zephyr said, "I hope I'm not going to drop dead or anything." And then he left again. Reg wasn't sure what Zephyr was doing out there. Usually he watched the television. Maybe he was cleaning up the pieces. He certainly wasn't repairing it; Reg knew they didn't have most of the parts that needed to be replaced.